Move Along
by The Fallen Dark Angel
Summary: "The composer has been replaced." These were the words that Sanae Hanekoma uttered as the group of four teenagers made their way into his cafe. Why is he gone and who is this mysterious boy with the composer's appearance? will everything turn out okay or in chaos? some NekuXJoshua but mostly NexuXOC. Warning! major OC usage. M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

_I actually finished this chapter first and it's been sitting in my computer with 'fin read' as the title. I finally got my ass in gear enough to write the other parts of the story before o go off to university in a couple of weeks._

"The composer has been replaced."

These were the words that Sanae Hanekoma uttered as the group of four teenagers made their way into his cafe. The barista was standing at the counter looking down his nose and over his glasses at a cup he was drying. It had been left by a couple who had been into the cafe for a coffee only a few minutes ago. He was frowning and his eyebrows were furrowed like he was still wondering what had happened to his boss.

"Replaced?" Shiki inquired while looking thoughtful. Everyone seemed to be confused except Neku who wore a frown. Beat scratched his head while Shiki and Rhyme looked between themselves with equally questioning expressions.

"He went and got himself killed?" The ginger asked without hesitation. There was almost a hint of anger in his voice which made the other ex-players ears prick as they turned to look at the boy. He was standing with his fists clenched as he looked at the floor. He was almost visibly shaking. The others all looked between the people there but nobody really knew how they could calm their angry friend down.

It had been a year now since the end of the game but since three months after the first meeting at Hachiko Neku had been secretly meeting with Joshua. He may not have forgiven Joshua, but like he'd said to himself at the end of the game: he trusted Joshua; he just hadn't forgiven him yet. There were times when they met up that Neku really wanted to just up and leave and tell Josh not to come see him again, but Joshua understood him. He knew how he felt about people and the world and he always offered good advice. Plus as much as Neku hated to admit it, he was a bit attracted to the other boy when he wasn't being an asshole. They were due to see each other in a few days but it looked like the composer was going to have to miss that date with his proxy. More recently, like the last two or three months in the times they had seen each other and ended in the two doing something that could be classed as more than barely friends should be doing. At first it was only kissing but eventually the friendship evolved into something half between being friends and lovers.

"Not killed... He wouldn't go without a fight..." For once in his life Sanae Hanekoma looked unsure of the outcome of his boss. "Knowing J he would've exploited some loophole and is probably running around somewhere," everyone realised he was trying to cheer himself up as much as everyone else. Nobody really knew what to say but at least Mr H was trying to make them feel better. He smiled a little although it looked false and let out a small chuckle too.

"I'll bet one of these days that kid'll show up and walk right through that door!" Mr H said with an unsure yet happier chuckle. Everyone lifted one side of their faces in half smiles except Neku, who still looked off into the distance with a sad look on his face.

As if on cue, two people entered the cafe. It was almost painfully obvious that they were siblings from the similarities in their faces, hair and even the way they both walked. The first of the two was a young woman. She looked about twenty and was pretty enough. She had silver-blonde hair that was just a bit lighter that her brother's but with more colour to it. She had the shimmering sides pulled back into a small ponytail that fell down the rest of her hair. She had green eyes but they were vibrant in colour like a dark forest green. She had a soft smile on her freckly face as she walked in slowly. She wore form fitting clothes I'm the shape of a halter neck pink top and a brown pair of shorts.

The boy next to her looked to be around the same age as the others -around 17- maybe even a little younger. His hair was shorter than his sisters. It was silver and only just tickled his shoulders while hers was halfway down her back. His eyes were different, bigger and more innocent looking in a lighter more vibrant shade of green instead of the purple everyone would associate with the rest of his face. His face was so familiar it left everyone in the cafe staring. He even wore similar clothes to the composer in the form of a pair of black jeans and a blue shirt which he wore open over the top of a white long sleeved t-shirt. The only other difference was that he was wearing a long chain with a pair of angel wings on it that chinked against itself as he walked. Neku blinked in shock as did everyone else.

"Yo, Mr H! I thought you said prissy kid was dead!" Beat shouted. Everyone turned to Beat to silence him which confused the boy.

"It's not the same composer," Shiki hissed as she elbowed Beat. The boy recoiled and backed off as he started to grumble about being hit. Shiki turned to the people at the entrance with a smile.

"Prissy kid?" The girl asked she looked at her brother with a confused scrunched up face. The boy who looked like the composer just shrugged and looked at the group around them with a small smile however remained silent.

"Sorry, you just look like someone we used to know... Um... Mr H? Aren't you going to greet them?" The barista suddenly remembered he was the one in charge of the cafe and smiled as he set the cup he had been cleaning on a shelf.

"Yeah, welcome to Wildkat, how can I help you, J?" He asked with a smile as he leant down on the counter encouraging the two to walk closer with the wave of a hand. Neku realised the slip up first. J was what Mr H called Joshua for short sometimes. When Neku looked at Shiki her eyes showed that she knew what he was trying to tell her. Nobody mentioned the use of nickname to the older man but they were pretty sure he had realised when the boy gave him a strange look. The girl walked forward first closely followed by her little brother who looked like Joshua. The boy couldn't keep his eyes off Neku who was still staring at the floor with his face buried into the collar of his shirt.

"Sorry if we're disturbing something. We were looking for someone by the name of 'Sanae Hanekoma,'" the girl said as she walked forward. Everyone looked up for a second in confusion. Mr H scratched his chin in thought as he smiled at the two people who had come looking for him.

"Really. You came looking for me?" He asked with a small chuckle. "Sanae Hanekoma. Call me Mr H," the older man told the two as he held out a hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Aya and this is my brother, Yoshiya," for the first time since the two had walked in, 'Yoshiya' seemed to act like the old Joshua. A giggle bubbled from his lips as he made his way to stand next to his sister.

"So you're Yoshiya?" Mr H murmured to the boy while scratching at his stubbly chin. The boy smiled slightly and nodded once.

"Well, my name is Yoshiya," he explained. He turned to look at Neku first with his signature smirk. "I think that considering I had a dream about this place and all of you, you can call me the name that you called the other boy who looked like me: Joshua." He giggled as he looked around at the others. Four sets of eyes widened in shock while Neku's head just snapped up to look at the boy who was speaking.

"You aren't Joshua," he growled in anger. He stood up straighter with balled fists and stood watching the other. Neku didn't realise he was shaking or squeezing his fingers into tight fists until he felt the pain of his nails piercing his skin. He didn't know why he was so angry but he felt like this boy was trying to replace his friend.

"Are you sure about that, dear?" The silver haired boy giggled. He posed exactly like the real Joshua he even pulled at his hair in the same place. Neku's anger boiled in his blood as he marched towards where the pair stood by the door. "I could always become a replacement of sorts, to help you get over the loss of a friend," the boy had all eyes on him as he joked around but he could tell Neku's blood was boiling as he stepped forward even closer to him in a threatening move. Neku was bigger than the teasing boy, but he didn't even flinch back.

"I'd never accept you as him," Neku growled right in the green eyed boy's face. The smaller of the two pulled back with a frown while Neku shoved past him out of the door and into the street. When he got out of the doors he broke into a run leaving Cat Street without even a glance behind him.

Everyone stared after Neku for a second before looking back to the boy who looked so much like their Joshua. The boy was tutting quietly to himself.

"Oh dear now I've upset him," he said with a slight frown. The silver haired boy tapped his chin in thought. "However, he is right about me not being your composer. From what I can gather from the dreams I'm just a copy of Joshua's appearance. I've been living in Paris with my family for the last four years. After my parents heard of a death of a boy who-"

"Who looked exactly like you..." Mr H murmured to himself. It wasn't a question; he was finishing the statement he had heard before.

"Exactly," The boy agreed with a nod. "That boy looked like me, he had the same name as me and died in the backstreets where he killed Neku," he seemed nervous to add the last part. He watched his sister's head whip around to stare at him while Mr H just sighed and shook his head.

"You never told him who you were. But I guess it doesn't matter if you had," Mr H mumbled. He wasn't talking to anyone in the room; he was looking up at the celling. The room became quiet as everyone ran away with their own thoughts. Rhyme remembered that Neku had stormed off first and realised that the angry teen could hurt himself if he was as upset as she thought he might be.

"I'll go talk to Neku," Rhyme said quietly. She left like a breeze and had almost gone unnoticed until that point in time.

Shiki was first to speak up when she was gone.

"So Neku's friend Joshua, the composer Joshua, died in the same place Neku did?" She asked. She was quite confused by the thought.

"Yes," Yoshiya answered as he placed a hand under his chin and held his elbow like the other Joshua used to do "He died in a car crash on his way home from the mural there. He had wanted to view it with his friend but he had been late and his friend had gone home. So he started to go towards his friend's home to apologise but was hit by a drunk driver who mowed into a wall," he explained looking at Mr H who had bowed his head at this thought.

"Friend? Did we know him?" Beat asked. He didn't really grasp that this wasn't the Joshua he had met. The silver haired boy looked down and smiled fondly at the memory of his friend.

"You know them, but I can't tell you who it is," he said as he looked to Mr H. The older man nodded at him, approving the choice.

"They wouldn't know who Josh was because of his entrance fee,"

"Was it memories? Like Neku and Rhyme?" Shiki asked she put a hand to her chin in thought, Mr H nodded.

"But not his memories, they were the memories of the best friend he had just left behind," Joshua looked down at the thought of taking the memories of the person his other self must've found the most important.

"Um... Hold on a second... What's all this about dying?" Spoke up a new voice. Aya was looking around in confusion at all of the people in the room.

"Well let's see..." Joshua started with a smirk as he turned to his sister. "In this room, everyone except you and me has at one point been dead. They all won their lives back in a game ran by a boy who looked like me who was also dead," he giggled, flipping some of his hair back out of his face. His sister looked at him blankly for a second with her lips parted as if she was frozen about to say something.

"Yeah right, dweeb," she said as she flicked his forehead causing the others in the café to snicker as he mewled and swung his arms out towards the girl to try and bat at his sister.

Everyone quieted as Rhyme walked back into the café with a reluctant Neku in tow. He was looking at the floor and still seemed angry and almost sad about the passing of Joshua. He sighed as he looked up at the boy who was not the same as his friend.

"You can't fill his place," Neku grumbled. His voice was devoid of all emotion making it hard for the others to read his expression.

"I wasn't going to dear," the boy assured quickly.

"But will you stay here?" Neku interrupted fiercely. He looked up with eyes burning with some unidentifiable emotion which caused the other's eyes to soften.

"I won't kill myself to take his role, but I can stay here with you people and be like him," the new Joshua smiled slightly at Neku and shrugged almost trying to show that this was the best he could do for him. Neku just scowled at him causing the smile to fall off the silver haired boy's face.

"Don't try and be him, you aren't him," Neku said again. He sounded childlike right now with the way he was speaking. His arms were folded and he was looking away.

"Neku..." Shiki sighed. She almost sounded disapproving as she moved towards him. Neku turned away from the people in the room so Shiki was the only one he could see. She always had a way to make him calmer.

"It's ok Shiki," the boy said. He looked at her for a second with a smile.

The younger boy's large green eyes fixed onto Neku's back and after a while, they softened. "Would it be better for you all to call me 'Yoshi' or I guess 'Yoshiya' that way I won't drag up the memories for you," Neku had turned his back on Yoshiya and was looking back out the door ready to bolt at any moment like a scared rabbit. For a moment, Yoshiya received only silence as his answer.

"Neku?" He asked again only this time a little softer. Yoshi was looking down at the floor so he couldn't see Neku's back. Neku shook his head as he heard the boy call to him. He plastered his signature scowl on his face.

"Yeah... Sounds great...whatever," Neku mumbled to the boy behind him. He was trying to sound tougher than he felt at that moment. Yoshi realised Neku was still a little upset and decided he needed to do something about it. A warm and familiar hand settled on Neku's shoulder. Shiki was now standing next to him with a small reassuring and mothering smile. The smile told Neku that even if he felt horrible, it would get better eventually. Yoshiya saw this and he sighed. He fiddled with the chain around his neck for a second before he stepped forward to speak.

"Neku, will you walk with me?" Yoshi asked out of the blue. Neku looked around in surprise to see conflicted emotions on the boy's face. "I want to talk to you... alone," he added as he walked closer to Neku. The orange haired boy sighed. He pushed the warm, comforting hand of his friend away and walked forward to look at the boy who looked like Joshua. He nodded at the silver haired boy and Yoshiya smiled before motioning for Neku to lead the way.

"I lived in Paris for the last four years remember? I don't know my way around Shibuya," Neku held back a shudder at the reminder that this boy was not his trusted friend, before he walked out of the doors again. He didn't look back at the others but waited outside of the cafe for his partner to join him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chap 2

_When I got around to writing this I couldn't remember how I had intended for it to be in the beginning so it's a little different from what I originally wanted but it not __**that **__bad… I hope._

As always Scramble Crossing was full. It was around lunch on a Saturday so a busy mass should be expected with all the local teenagers in the city meeting friends, shopping or just getting lunch. Neku started to walk in the direction of 104 but realised that he hated shopping and if the boy was anything like Joshua he would love it and they would be there for hours and hours. So instead of leaving himself open to receive such torture, Neku stopped to speak to Yoshi.

The whole of the area was too noisy. It was so noisy the pair couldn't even hear themselves think. They quickly realised (after a short tour of Shibuya) that there was not really anywhere quiet enough to talk around the city at this time in the day. Neku looked at the boy next to him before he walked back towards the 104 building. He knew he could get to Ramen Don that way and he was starting to get a little hungry. He had been meeting Shiki at Wildkat for some food anyway but thought that maybe the others would rather eat their overpriced pastries and food without the watchful eyes of the impostor composer.

As the two walked, the citizens of Shibuya fought around them to try and get out of the crowds and into the open where they could breathe or at least lift their arms from their sides.

"Let's just walk Neku," Yoshi suggested as he increased his pace to look at the other.

"You can show me around some more, maybe take me shopping," the boy giggled. Neku didn't react more than the small wince he tried to hide at the boy's giggle. His hands were shoved in his pockets and his head was down while he walked. The people around them seemed to steer clear of the ginger as if his body was giving out an aura of darkness. He really looked like the antisocial emo type he used to he before the game.

"I'm going to Ramen Don," Neku told the other. He made it known with a raise of an eyebrow that it wasn't a suggestion and that Yoshi's choices were to follow him or get lost.

With a sigh, Yoshi chose to follow Neku.

"Do you eat ramen?" Neku asked in a grumble he was obviously directing at the green eyed boy. Yoshi's eyes widened as he realised he was being spoken to. A faint blush painted itself on his cheeks because he realised he had been up in the clouds.

"Oh! Um... Yes," he replied while tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. Yoshi struggled to keep up with Neku's pace and ended up half running to keep up with the other boy. For a moment, Neku saw a different boy to the one who still seemed to be playing the role of the composer. He was timid but very polite every time he bumped into someone. Neku's speed increased to dodge and he didn't realise until a minute after he had lost Yoshi.

"Trying to get rid of me?" the boy in question asked with a smirk as he popped up next to Neku. He increased his speed to a pace that matched Neku's more easily now and Neku wondered why he was having so much trouble walking at this pace earlier. The ginger looked at him with a disbelieving look of almost disapproval. It was the kind of look he used to give Joshua during the first few days of their week when he was really tired of his bullshit.

"Gee I wonder where you got that idea," Neku mumbled sarcastically but he didn't change his pace to try and lose the other boy. He wasn't bothered about him that much to do so, just like he hadn't thought of trying to lose the other in the crowd. He was hungry and could just ignore the annoying tag along if he really needed to.

By the time they reached the ramen shop Yoshi was trying to talk to Neku again.

"Where do you go to school?" Yoshi asked as he sped up to walk next to Neku.

"There're only two schools around here. I think from your 'smarts' you can tell I'm not from the private school," he grumbled as he tried to speed up.

Yoshi managed to keep up pretty well as they entered the shop. "I'm at that school now too," he giggled happily. "I'm just glad someone else I know will be there, especially seeing as it's you, dear," Neku was getting a little annoyed with his new stalker. Neku didn't retaliate and therefore Yoshi didn't say anything as they went up to the till to order. Yoshi ordered for both of them, trying to get into his new friend's good books. Neku accepted with a reluctant grunt of a thank you while he accepted his favourite brand of ramen from the other boy.

"So what will it take for me to get rid of you?" Neku asked gruffly as he plonked into a seat and took a bite of his food. "And how did you know what I like here?" He asked.

"I just want to talk. I'm not going to bite... Unless you're into that thing," at first the silver haired boy smirked and winked at Neku. At the scow he recived from an annoyed Neku, Yoshi looked in the opposite direction looking confused and a little guilty. "Sorry. Um... I have his memories. You used to always order that," Yoshi sounded timid, like he didn't really want to talk about it. Neku almost missed the other boys mutter, but his eyes widened before they got defensive.

"How much do you know?" He asked as he started slurping his noodles up really quickly.

"All of it. From when he was human to how he...went..." He trailed off as he realised Neku was glaring. He decided to take notes from the boy who he looked like in this situation. He didn't know why Neku was angry, but he knew Joshua would've given him a reason to be angry.

"Heehee, I remember all of it, even your face when we had sex,"

"_We_?" Neku growled. He stood up am the smirk dropped from the other's face and was replaced by a frown. If he wasn't so annoyed by the boy's imitations, he would've been commenting on how he must have split personalities or something. One minute he acted like Joshua, the next he was timid and seemingly innocent. Right now the 'seemingly innocent' boy had grabbed onto Neku's arm as he tried to leave.

"Don't leave, I won't do it again," wide green eyes pleaded. The pools of deep green still made Neku shudder. The colour didn't look right to him on that face.

"I wanted to ask about what I would be to you," Yoshi's voice was quiet but Neku was sitting down again because he knew this conversation was inevitable.

"I want to be your friend Neku, without it being weird. Is that too much to ask?" The way he looked up at Neku made the other feel like he was blushing. This guy was supposed to have no effect on him but Joshua had never been nice to him like this and to see someone in his exact image acting so unlike him confused Neku to no end. Neku would never admit to that.

"Whatever, it's not like it matters to me, just make sure you don't act like him," Neku cautioned. The barrier he had put up -the one that made him look angry- had fallen away and he just looked down at the table in confusion. They were both silent for a moment. Yoshi was confused at Neku's confusion while Neku was confused by his emotions. He was annoyed Yoshi wanted to be his friend because it meant more suffering for him and he was angry because the other was still being Joshua at some points in time. He was confused at the feeling of hope that this boy's appearance bought forward. Yoshi didn't know what to feel so he settled to being hopeful for Neku to accept him. He didn't know why he still felt butterflies in his stomach. He promised himself he wouldn't fall for the other boy.

"I'll try not to, but I am influenced by his memories," Yoshi giggled causing Neku to growl again. Yoshi looked away from the other and pulled a face as he tucked a curl of his silver hair behind his ear.

"I don't want a remnant of him here," Neku said gruffly before he went back to slurping the soup still in his bowl.

"I'd dye my hair for you, but I like my hair. So does my sister," Yoshi explained with a giggle. Neku didn't look up at him he just finished off his noodles in silence. He noticed Yoshi had barely touched his apart from twirling a fork around in the bowl.

"I don't exactly know much about your sister," Neku said. He was trying to start a conversation.

"What's there to know? Her name is Aya she's 22 and works in cities as a fashion designer. She speaks French, English and Japanese, clothes size-"

"What is it with people and trying to give me their clothes sizes?!" Neku said with a growl of irritation. He remembered Shiki, Eri, Joshua and even Mr H try to give him their sizes at one point. He didn't know if they were hinting at wanting clothes but he just usually cut them off quickly.

"I could give you mine if you want, dear..." Yoshiya said suggestively. He lent down on his hand and looked up at Neku through his eyelashes.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Neku asked as he ignored the comment. He motioned to the full bowl of ramen sitting in front of the other boy. Yoshi looked down and looked back up into Neku's eyes. With a small smile on his face, he shook his head and pushed the bowl forward into the middle of the table.

"My stomach is in knots. I thought this was going to end in a fight," he sighed with a soft smile. One hand settled on his stomach as if he hoped that would help at all.

There was another silence. The boys voided each other's gaze as Neku started to eat again while Yoshi just swung his legs and messed with his food again.

"I don't want us to fight and make everything awkward," Yoshi says. He doesn't look up at Neku but he can feel the other boy glaring at him. it took a few seconds for Yoshi to get curious and glance up at Neku. His eyes flick up and then back down to the food on the table. Yoshi was swinging his legs again like a little kid but he looked like he was thinking. When he did finally look up it was with a smug smirk Neku saw often on someone else's face. It looked the same on Yoshi.

"Neku, what would you do if Joshua was still here?" the boy tried to act confident but inside he was nervous. It was an innocent question but Neku seemed to be irritated by it immediately.

"I thought you said you didn't want us to fight," the boy muttered through clenched teeth. Yoshi was confused by the other's behaviour.

"I don't want us to fight," the silver haired boy answered quickly with a flick of his hair. He watched Neku's face as his eyes flickered shut and he let out a forceful breath of air.

"You really are stupid," he muttered. Yoshi didn't understand, but he was going to make a point that he wasn't stupid! He had only just opened his mouth to report something when Neku's face filled with rage and he stood up from his chair which gave a loud screech in protest as it scraped across the floor.

"He can't come back. That's the point of being dead," Neku growled before stomping straight out of the restaurant and making quite a few people stare.

Yoshi watched the other boy look around to him and, with a shake of his head, he sprinted in the direction of home. His departure left Yoshiya breathless but he frowned when he realised the exact opposite of what he wanted had happened. They had fought and now he would have to go home this week and he'd have nothing to think about but the look on Neku's face when he yelled.

With a sigh, Yoshi apologised to the ramen shop owner and walked out into the street feeling down that he had just had an argument with the one person he wanted to impress.

Neku on the other hand was halfway home and had resorted to walking again while he grumbled angrily to himself. He wasn't particularly happy with the whole situation and was finding it hard to even look at the other boy while they sat and ate. He was just like Joshua in some respects but in others he was completely different and it threw Neku off. His voice and the pauses he took when he spoke made his speech pattern almost exactly the same. It was his eyes that were the giveaway and when he was surprised and slipped straight back into his own personality as a defence mechanism. He was still too similar for Neku which lead to him being confused. His heart ached for a person he had forgotten and also for the composer. He didn't really know how to take Joshua's death. He knew it would happen someday and he wondered if he should be glad it happened now before he got too involved...

Neku stopped as he reached his front door and had to pull his keys out. He called a usual hello to his mother as he entered but went straight to his room without even waiting for a reply.

Neku flopped down back on his bed as he started to think again. He can't help but think maybe he did get too attached to Joshua while he was around. He also thought that maybe he did get too involved. But these thoughts were pushed to the back on Neku's mind as he realised he wanted a quick nap from such an exhausting day. It was five when the boy drifted off to sleep and his mother was surprised when he didn't wake up again that night. The dreams he had were confusing and caused the boy to toss in his sleep but he didn't wake up until the next morning.


	3. Chapter 3

Chap 3

"Neku! Shiki's here!" A voice called from downstairs. Neku was too busy thinking about the day before to hear it. All he could hear in his head was the words Yoshi had spoken and the gestures he had made. His head couldn't help matching them with the words and gestures Joshua used to use. Yoshi sounded the same, looked the same but he didn't really act the same and Neku didn't want the way Joshua acted to disappear from his memory and be replaced with this new kid's attitude.

At the same time, he didn't want Yoshi to act like Joshua because he didn't want someone else trying to be his best friend. The two conflicting ideas gave Neku a headache as he realised he just didn't want to see the other boy at all.

The day before had been filled with angry remarks from Neku as the other boy tried to act normal. Neku was still acting childish in his head. He didn't want Joshua to be gone, he didn't want this second rate excuse of a replacement, he didn't want to have to explain to anyone what this feeling he didn't understand was but it was clogging up his throat and making his eyes sting.

He knew he was being childish, but all he could think about was how happy he would be to see the smug bastard that was _his _Joshua even if it was just once more. In his head, he felt like a bratty child having a tantrum but at the same time he didn't care enough to stop.

Neku was still lost in thought as Shiki entered the room. She had a smile on her face hoping to pretend to scare the boy but one glance at her friend's face made the smile slip off her own features.

"Hey Neku, if this is how you're feeling I guess yesterday wasn't exactly sunshine and roses when you left," Shiki said. She received no reply at first and in the end had to put a hand on the distracted boy's shoulder in order to get his attention. She didn't bother repeating what she said when she realised a tear was sliding down her friends cheek without his knowing. Shiki knew if she overreacted or even mentioned it then Neku would get angry at both himself and Shiki so she kept silent.

"Come on, it's not good to keep it bottled up, your face tells me you have a lot on your mind. Tell me what you're thinking!"

Shiki sat down next to Neku on his bed and patted his leg in comfort. Neku had stayed silent the whole time she had been in the room so Shiki was shocked when Neku's hands moved to his face as he started to violently wipe at his eyes. He scooted away and flopped down face first onto his bed so he could hide his face in his pillow.

"Neku...?" the brunette asked in a soft voice. The girl hoped he would take her advice and talk instead of bottling it up like he would've before.

"Why do you always want me to tell you everything?" the boy muttered into his pillow as he moved his head to the side to rub over his eyes with the heels of his hands. Neku only stopped when he could see white dots behind his eyelids before he turned so he was face down again.

"It's for your sake, not mine. You need to get it off your chest before it just bursts out in a fit of rage," Neku turned his head to see her reaction to him. The matter-of-fact look in her eyes made Neku fell bad. She was only looking out for him; it's not that she wanted the gossip. The ginger boy sat up shakily next to Shiki as he scrubbed at one of his eyes with a fist again to attempt to stop his tears. Shiki looked at him with sympathy in her gaze "Please Neku, I want to help you," Shiki assured the other as she shuffled closer to him. This was all it took for Neku to finally give in to her coaxing. With a sigh, he lowered his head in defeat before looking back up into the girl's brown eyes.

"I felt like, at some points in the day, he was trying to be Joshua... And I don't want anyone to replace him," Neku said as he tried to disguise his emotions that were now rushing to the surface after being bottled up for so long. He didn't realise that this ran as far into his subconscious, but as a memory surfaced he remembered why losing friends was so upsetting to him.

"Neku...I know this can't just be because he's gone, what's wrong?" Shiki murmured quietly. There was silence for a moment that was only filled with Neku's sniffles as his memory finally got the better of him. a broken half-memory came to the surface but he couldn't see half of the memory playing out because of sunlight in his eyes like it would bleach a scene from a camera lens.

"I... Don't want to forget another friend..." Neku told Shiki. He spoke so quietly it was almost as if he didn't want her to hear him at all. Shiki looked at Neku sadly for a minute. He was rubbing angrily at his eyes again but his rubbing was getting less frequent.

"Look, Neku if this is something to do with the game then-"

"It's not," he cut her off before she could say anything else. Shiki looked almost hurt at him cutting her off but when she noticed Neku stand up and walk over to the dressing table across from him, her expression turned to one of confusion. She made sure understanding was still present on her face so Neku would still feel ok with talking to her. He picked up a photo and looked at it fondly for a few seconds before returning to sit next to Shiki. The orange haired boy pushed the photo into Shiki's lap without looking at her.

The photo was old; it was crinkled around the edges and soft from being held by sweaty fingers too often. The colour was slightly faded to an almost yellowy brown and there was a large mark over it from what seemed to be exposure to light before it was developed In the photo, the outline of two boys could be seen standing together at a fairground. Neku was young, around twelve in the photo and he was holding a balloon in his one hand. He smiled widely and showed a peace sign at the camera. He didn't wear any headphones at all making Shiki wonder how he had changed so rapidly in the years after this to the year she met him. Shiki looked at the other boy in the photo but noticed that the face couldn't be seen because of the light exposed spot which had turned white with flecks of brown and green along the edges. The boy's slender figure could be seen as well as a whitened smile which was at the edge of the exposed spot. The boy had an arm around Neku and seemed to be holding a glob of candy floss in his other hand.

"The boy in the photo with me was my best friend," Neku told Shiki after a few seconds of her looking at the photo. "He died years ago in an accident. I think he had been running late and when I wasn't there, he was going home. But then on his way, a car hit him," Neku added as he pulled his knees up to his chest and shuffled back on the bed so he could wrap his arms around them. "When he died I realised it was my fault because I hadn't been there and blamed myself fully. I convinced myself that I didn't need friends and that they were all noisy and just dragging me down in life," Neku looked down so his hair covered his face. Shiki looked at him in confusion for a second before she spoke up.

"You haven't forgotten him if you can tell me that much. He still lives on in your memories," she told Neku softly placing a hand on top of one of his knees. Neku shook the hand off immediately but didn't look up as he let out an angry report.

"I don't know his name, his age or what he looked like, I can't remember how we were with each other or how we met, I only remember that he died and as hard as I try that's all I can remember,"

Shiki didn't know what to say to that. She remained silent for a moment trying to think of something to say.

"Can you remember anything about him?" She asked quietly. Neku shook his head and took the photo off her and back to his table. He laid it down like it was a precious item and sighed as he stayed facing away from the girl. Shiki was thinking. She remembered Yoshiya telling her about Joshua's death and his entrance fee. She couldn't help but feel the stories were the same. Although she wouldn't assume something like that, she knew she would have to chase it up eventually. She didn't say anything to Neku about it.

"Shiki..." Neku murmured suddenly. The boy's speech startled the girl and her head shot up to look at her friend. Neku was looking round at her out of the corner of his eye to see if she was actually listening to him.

"Me and Josh weren't just friends... We had more of a 'friends with benefits' type thing going on." He said. Shiki blinked in surprise. This was not what she thought she would be hearing from Neku.

"What?" She replied. Her voice was a little louder than it could've been causing Neku to wave his hands at her to be quiet. Shiki realised his mother could hear them.

"Sorry. Continue," she said with a flick of her hand. Neku looked at her for a second to gauge her reaction. When he got a thumbs up, Neku continued his explanation.

"Well... What I mean is, I don't think it was love in the slightest but the... The things he did to me, I don't think it's something you would do to someone who was a quick fuck," the boy put an one of his shoulders he was facing her now just a little way away from the bed.

"Neku-" Shiki started. She didn't really know what she wanted to say, so she was glad when Neku cut her off.

"I'm sorry, I had to tell someone," he said. He was blushing a bit and had turned away again in a rush so Shiki couldn't look at him.

"No, no. It's fine it's just... I don't know, I always assumed..." Again, Shiki struggled for words. She didn't know why she was having so much trouble with her speech. The brown eyed girl looked down at her lap with furrowed eyebrows as she pushed her glasses back up her nose.

"Assumed I liked you?" Neku cut in as he looked over his shoulder at the brunette still sitting on his bed. Shiki looked up at the sound of a humourless chuckle in Neku's voice. She messed with her hair while she searched for the words to say to Neku.

"Well more like girls in general but... Yeah point still stands," Shiki's head nodded like a bobble head for a little while causing Neku to sigh and make his way back over to the bed to crouch down with his hands on her knees.

"Shiki, you're my best friend. I wouldn't want any other girl by my side, but he was just so different and he understood where I was coming from," Shiki looked Neku in the eyes and nodded again but quicker this time. Neku got up slowly to stand in front of Shiki.

"I understand Neku," the girl sighed. She really did. She knew what it was like to have that one person you could trust with all your secrets. She stood up to put her hands on the ginger's shoulders but Neku was looking at the floor and only sighed in recognition to the fact she was there.

"Not possibly as much as he could've," Shiki knew he didn't say things to hurt her but the fact Neku didn't want to talk to her as much as someone else hurt a little. He was looking off to the other side of the room with his arms crossed. Shiki was getting a little annoyed at his moping but at the same time she wanted to remain understanding.

"Neku, you need to pull yourself together," she told him enthusiastically. She expected more of a response from the boy but all she got was his head lolling up like a dog to look at her.

"I do?" he asked in a dead voice he looked like he didn't really want to enter whatever topic of conversation Shiki wanted to have with him. The girl plastered a serious look on her face and balled her hands into fists as she nodded in affirmation to his statement.

"Yeah! How can you stay in here moping all day? The past is in the past and as Mr H says you have to enjoy the moment and trust your partner. Now trust me when I say being cooped up is bad for you and enjoy the moment by going out and not wallowing in self-pity!" Neku looked back down at the girl's speech and seemed to actually think about it for a little while before he plonked down on the bed next to Shiki with a sketchbook he had scooped up off the floor.

"I don't feel like going out today. Maybe tomorrow..." he told her dismissively with a wave of one of his hands as he opened his sketchbook with the other. Shiki was growing more annoyed with him by the second.

"Neku! How many times will you say 'maybe tomorrow'? You have to face the world sometime!" as Shiki raised her voice to him Neku bristled like an angry cat but tried to remain as calm as possible so he didn't annoy the only person who had decided to pay him a visit in a while. He ignored her for a little while as he plucked a pencil from his desk and started to doodle something. It was silent until the brunette gave an angry huff at Neku's behaviour.

"Shiki, I'm not avoiding the world. I'm just avoiding Yoshi. I'm sure he's going back to Paris or something for a few days to get his stuff so I'm hiding today," Shiki gave Neku a look of shock and stood up from the bed. Neku looked up at her at this point.

"That's horrible," she told him as she crossed her arms and looked away.

"You don't understand,"

"You're right I don't," she snapped back. Shiki was getting more and more annoyed as time ticked on. She didn't know how Neku could judge someone for their looks after all he had been through with the game and with Shiki's own dilemma with her appearance.

"He's too similar,"

"But he just wants to be your friend!" she yelled. She was trying to make the boy see sense but Neku just dropped the sketchbook and looked away from her. His short, disinterested answers showing that her words had no effect on him.

"I don't need a new friend," Neku told her as anger flashed in his own eyes.

"You're so stubborn!"

"Yeah?" he gave the girl a dirty look and looked away again before pulling his earphones over his ears. They had hung around his neck up until that point. He turned the volume up so loud even Shiki could hear it as he swung his legs around up onto the bed and laid back with his sketchbook on his stomach. Neku's eyes closed and he started moving his foot in time with the beat Shiki could clearly hear. This action make Shiki seethe in anger and had effectively ended their conversation.

"Ugh!" Shiki threw her hands up in the air in exasperation and walked straight out of Neku's room. "Fine! Be that way!" she called back as she slammed his door shut. The brunette was so annoyed by how rude he acted towards the other boy. She knew eventually they were going to have to become friends and that would be the day Neku came whining to her about everything he did.

As soon as his door slammed Neku's sour expression dropped and he picked up his paper to see a doodle of a figure with large white wings and a white aura around him. Neku's mouth opened but he didn't know what to feel at the drawing. He closed his eyes and breathed through his mouth as he took in what his subconscious was telling him. His eyes opened again with the same angry expression he bore earlier. Mindlessly, he ripped the paper out of the book and balled it up before throwing it at the furthest away wall. The boy then pulled his knees up and curled in on himself as he finally took the time to think about what Shiki had said. He'd never admit to the tears that gathered in his eyes again as he was overwhelmed by his own feelings.

The girl in question now stomped down the stairs and startled Neku's mother who was on her way up to see what the ruckus was all about. She had waited until it seemed to die down a bit because she knew better than to interrupt if it was something that needed to be said and knowing her son, Shiki was probably yelling for a reason.

"Shiki, Sweetheart, what's the matter?" the woman asked as she caught one of the brunette's arms.

"I'm sorry Ma'am but your son is being stubborn," Shiki couldn't wipe the sour look off her face.

"What did he do now?" The woman asked with a sigh. She sounded tired as soon as she realised it was Neku who had upset Shiki. The hand that was once holding onto Shiki's arm moved up to massage the woman's left temple. She sighed again before taking Shiki's wrist into her hand gently to lead her over to the table in the kitchen. "Have a cup of tea with me dear? You seem like you have something to let out," the woman asked. Her motherly tone shone through her words and Shiki wondered how someone like this could've raised such a stubborn and angry son.

"Ok, but I can only stay for a little while," Shiki decided as she sat down in the chair opposite where the woman had stood as the mother went to put the kettle on. Eventually, the two sat with warm mugs of tea between their fingers as they rested them on the table.

"Mrs Sakuraba... Do you know anything about a boy who used to live next door? Neku said he died…" before Shiki had even finished speaking the woman had a frown on her face again.

"Yes. His name was Josh I think… It's been a while since I heard the name. Neku's all but forgotten about him. He doesn't have any photos of him or any memories either. He didn't go to the boy's funeral or even seem to mourn," the woman sighed again and turned her steaming cup. "He didn't remember but it turned him antisocial. He just knew he had a friend who died and that was the end of it. He told me he didn't need friends," Shiki didn't want to think about how Neku was in the time before he entered the game. Her thoughts were swirling around the bits of information the woman had given her.

"Did he mention him to you?" Mrs Sakuraba asked kindly before taking a sip of her drink. She waited patiently for Shiki to answer. Shiki wondered whether it was right for her to involve Mrs Sakuraba in her thoughts. She wondered if Neku would care if she asked his mother for her advice. In the end, Shiki decided as long as she kept it vague, she should be fine asking advice.

"Someone we know died recently. Neku told me he didn't want to forget another friend," Shiki said shyly. She didn't know whether telling Mrs Sakuraba was a good idea, but the woman should at least know why her son was acting strangely. The mother put a hand to her heart as a sad look crossed her features.

"He's sensitive like that. Maybe if you leave him to think-"

"That isn't why we argued," Shiki interrupted before the woman got the wrong idea. Mrs Sakuraba was silent as she waited for Shiki to continue.

"The boy's… twin came to speak to us pretending to be his brother and he got Neku really annoyed. The boy explained to him he just wants to be friends but Neku won't have anything to do with him! Neku even refused to leave the house today in case he bumps into him!" Shiki's voice got louder as she kept talking until she was almost yelling. She was still annoyed at Neku for that but the other person at the table seemed to understand.

"He's being childish. Give him a few days, I'm sure he'll come around," was all the advice Mrs Sakuraba could give to Shiki. She assured the brunette that none of what she had said would be mentioned to Neku to which Shiki was thankful for.

The two chatted idly about school and hobbies and how Shiki's designing was going while they drank their tea. Shiki enjoyed chatting with Neku's mother whenever she got the chance because the woman was so genuine. She always had advice to offer or a friendly ear. Sometimes she'd need it with Eri popping back and forth between Paris and Tokyo.

Shiki thanked Neku's mother for the tea as she stood up. The woman smiled brightly at her.

"Don't worry about it sweetheart, it looked like you needed some cheering up," she assured she smiled as she got up to walk Shiki to the door.

"Just give him a few days, dear. But remember don't be a stranger! I love a bit of company around here," the woman said with a chuckle. Shiki smiled back and promised to come back soon. As Shiki made her way down the steps she looked back up at the house to see Neku's curtains still shut. She sighed as she carried on hoping the other boy would accept what was happening sooner rather than later.


	4. Chapter 4

Chap 4

_Oopsie this took too long for me to get off my lazy ass and edit. I can't even say I've been busy because I haven't…_

After Shiki left Neku's house she went towards a small smoothie shop that had opened where Shadow Ramen used to be. Inside she noticed one boy sitting alone with his thoughts. All she could see was the back of a head of wavy silver hair and she guessed it was the boy causing all the conflicting emotions in her best friend. She was a little sad for him when she remembered that he didn't really know anyone in town and that was probably why he was sitting alone at the booth table. He was swinging his legs back and forth childishly while sipping on a smoothie. The way he looked out the window made Shiki believe he was lonely and she couldn't help but walk over to see if he was alright.

She walked forward cautiously before hesitantly saying the boy's name.

"Yoshiya?" She asked as she got closer to the boy's table. The silver haired one turned and sent a kind smile her way. Shiki felt unnerved by his smile, it felt to her like he thought he had known her for a while. In his mind he probably had. His smile was infectious and it made Shiki want to grin back.

"Hey Shiki," he said while standing up quickly as if he had received an electric shock.

"You looked lonely, I thought you might like some company," the girl said with a smile. Yoshi smiled back before turning to the window again.

"I wouldn't mind the company right now. My thoughts are amplified when I'm alone. I don't have any distractions," his smile was sad and almost made Shiki's own smile fall from her lips. Before Shiki could say anything else to him however, she was asked if she wanted a drink and after insisting he would pay, Yoshiya walked up to the counter leaving Shiki at his table with his smoothie. She glanced at his half full smoothie that sat in front of her. It had small black seeds and was pink in colour leading Shiki to believe it was banana and strawberry flavour. It was a large tall glass and a small green straw balanced against the rim covered in dried frothy bubbles.

At first the girl didn't know what to do, so she sat down quietly on the sticky booth seat that as situated in the window of the shop. She didn't know where to look so she just watched the boy who was kind enough to buy her drink.

She watched him from afar and noticed how different he was from the way Neku had described the composer. He wore different clothes, often opting for looser blue jeans and a t-shirt with a pink or blue shirt over the top. The winged pendant still hung around his neck and she couldn't help but notice it swing as he walked. His posture wasn't uptight and regal, instead he slouched and leaned his weight on his elbows while he sat down and swung his legs around. She also noticed that this boy stood with one hand on his hip leaning heavily to the side as if he had been injured on one leg and it wasn't as strong. She noted to herself that she should ask about it at some point. She thought her idea on him injuring himself was made more believable by the hardly noticeable limp the boy had.

Shiki looked away when she noticed him looking back at her and instead chose to look down at the table and think. The brunette thought back to a the day before in the cafe and she realised she wanted to learn more about Joshua's entry fee seeing as Mr H and Yoshiya were both very keen on keeping it a secret from Neku. The girl hummed and adjusted her glasses as she thought back to Neku's description of his friend from that morning. _'I don't know his name, his age or what he looked like, I can't remember how we were with each other or how we met, I only remember that he died and as hard as I try that's all I can remember,'_ he had told her but she felt there must be more to it than that.

She hummed again before looking up to see Yoshi making his way back over with her drink in hand he had a smile on his face and she wondered if it was the sort of expression he would always wear. Shiki muttered her thanks with a small smile on her face. She received a nod in return from the smiling silver haired boy.

"I'm sorry about Neku," Shiki had said as soon as he sat down causing Yoshi to raise an eyebrow in surprise. She looked down at the table as if it was her that had done something wrong. This confused Yoshi.

"Why are you sorry? You aren't his mother," he asked her as he took his seat in the booth across from Shiki.

"I feel like it sometimes…" she grumbled before looking up with a fire in her eyes. "He had no right to talk to you how he did at Wildkat and I'm sure you just let him walk all over you when the two of you were alone," Shiki's cheeks turned even redder when she realised what she was saying and she looked down at the table again while tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I can't help it," Yoshi said. His voice was quiet and he was looking down just like Shiki was. He looked upset with himself but he didn't say anymore.

A Silence fell over the two and Shiki took the time to look down at the drink she had been bought by the silver haired boy. It was lime and kiwi; a more citrusy drink than the pink one on the table. It had a pale green colour and a yellow straw. The two stirred their drinks with the straws in an awkward silence before Shiki finally decided to speak up.

"Did you do something to your leg?" Shiki asked as she took her first sip of the smoothie. The flavour was just as she wanted and she felt her lips curve into a small smile at the perfect blend of fruit. Yoshiya looked up at Shiki quickly as if he had been brought out of a trance.

"My leg?" The boy stammered putting a hand on the leg Shiki had wondered about.

"You seem to put all your weight on the other leg. I wondered if you had hurt it in the past," she explained calmly. The boys cheeks seemed to light up a little as he realised he would have to tell her what he did.

"Um... When I was little I had a friend. I can't remember her name but I remember that she was English and she was living with us as an exchange program," he explained. Yoshi had started rubbing at the back of his neck and looking down at the table.

"It was my own stupid fault, I had a crush on her and I tried to impress her by jumping out of a tree but..."

"You hit every branch on the way to the floor?" Shiki inquired, seeming to know where the story was going.

"I hit every branch AND the floor," the boy clarified with a nod. "I fell on my leg and that girl? She had to go get my dad to take me to the hospital," he added punctuating the end of the story with a sip of his drink.

"So... You broke your leg?" She asked. She got a nod as a reply.

"In two places. And I was ten so I hadn't stopped growing and they had to put plates in my knee because my leg wasn't growing right," Shiki didn't know what to say to that really so she stayed silent for a minute stirring her drink like she had before. The black pips from the blended fruit moved around and away from the straw and she knew at the bottom of the smoothie there were loads more of them she could crunch on when she got there.

"You look like there's something else on your mind," Yoshi noticed as he balanced his head on his open palm. "Go on, ask away," the boy said with a sigh as if all his barriers were down. He smiled at her again but this time it was more of a tired smile and Shiki couldn't help but look into his eyes.

"Well I also wondered..." Shiki looked down shyly for a second when she caught herself looking. Yoshi made a humming noise and eventually Shiki became more confident and looked up at him with a straight back and a determined look in her eyes as she asked what she wanted to know. "When we first met you, you were really vague about your knowledge of Joshua's entrance fee into the game. It was kinda bugging me," Shiki said. The other boy looked a little shocked at the direction on the conversation but settled down for what he knew would be a long sensitive talk.

"You do realise that is kinda a touchy subject. Even for me, and it wasn't even my entrance fee," The silver haired boy said as he took a sip of the smoothie.

"I know, but I have a feeling I know who the friend is, and why it was his memories they took," Shiki said as she laid both arms on the table and looked the boy across from her square in the eye. He looked away uncomfortably for a minute before sighing and deciding it was inevitable.

"Well, if you didn't already get the vibe from me or him, both of us are- or I guess were for him- gay," Yoshiya paused from his awkward almost-stammer to see Shiki's reaction only to see no chance on her face as she listened.

She nodded at him before taking another sip of the smoothie and motioning for the silver haired male to continue with a flick of her hand. Yoshi had expected more of a reaction but continued anyway as if nothing had happened.

"When he was alive, Joshua fell in love with his best friend but decided he was abnormal and he could never tell his friend. He only wanted to create the best memories for both of them because they were young and he knew that they couldn't be friends and stay together forever," Yoshiya paused to see a frown on Shiki's face. He didn't ask, but he knew she was probably going over the top about forbidden love in her head.

"When he died, his friend's emotions and feelings were the most important thing to him as well as the memories they made together, so they were taken as his entrance fees," he could see confusion on Shiki's face as she mentally counted out the entrance fees. She looked down at her drink as Yoshi started explaining.

"He played three games, like Neku. But he lost at the end of the third so the conductor destroyed his entrance fees so he could never have them back," Joshua's voice ghosted through Yoshi's mind as he spoke '_if you keep taking the bits of him that I love then there will be nothing left of him!' _a blush painted itself onto his cheeks as thoughts of Joshua with Neku were shoved to the front of his brain. He tried to shake them off but tried to ignore their presence and continue. He noticed Shiki hadn't even looked up from her smoothie to see the blush on his face that was now slowly returning to normal.

"And now Neku doesn't even remember..." Shiki said with a sigh. She shook her head as she looked down and started swirling the straw in her smoothie around to stir the drink. Her green smoothie was almost all gone while Yoshiya's lay still half full in front of him.

Yoshi looked sad. He looked down as he spoke. "No he- wait a second... You know?" His head shot up as he registered Shiki's words and he cocked his head to the side slightly in question.

"It's obvious from his side of the story," she pointed out with a nod. Shiki smiled around her straw as she took the last sip of her drink.

"He remembers?" The silver haired boy muttered.

"He had a photo which has become light exposed. He knows he had a friend who he lost but he doesn't know much more and it makes him worry about forgetting more friends." Shiki sighed and balanced her head on her hand while she looked out the window. The boy in front of her was looking down at the table sadly.

"I wish I could help him..." He murmured with hardly a movement.

"Help him?" At the sound of Shiki's confused voice Yoshi seemed to become animate again.

"Yeah. Like, I wish there was something I could do to make him feel better about it, but it's not my story to tell..." He rubbed his temples as if a headache was coming on before draining the rest of his smoothie in a few short slurps of the liquid.

"Shiki, thanks for the company but I'm going to go home now," the boy said abruptly as he outstretched a hand. Shiki was surprised but still nodded and stood up ready to take the hand that was offered to her. Yoshi was surprised when Shiki pulled him into a hug using his hand as leverage to pull him forward. The hug was awkward because Yoshiya didn't really know what to do but when she pulled away Shiki had a smile on her face.

"If you ever want to talk about anything, please call me," she said to the silver haired boy in front of her. Yoshi looked confused as the brunette handed him a piece of paper.

"I know I asked about those things today but I'm a good listener and I want to help you and Neku get through this," she said.

Yoshi was touched that someone would think of him so kindly after only meeting him once and thanked Shiki for her generosity before standing and leaving the shop to go towards his and his sister's home.

He knew he was going home tomorrow for the rest of the weekend but he felt the need to save Shiki's number into his phone for later. He sent her a quick text to tell her his number at got a cute smilie face back from her. He stopped walking as he typed out the question he had wanted to ask her since he had left the shop they had been in.

'_What does Neku think of me?'_ he typed. The message was flashing back at him from the screen but Yoshiya hesitated and bit his lip. He wanted to know, but he didn't want to hear anything negative and he wasn't really sure about confiding in Neku's best friend.

'_Message: Send? Delete?' _flashed across the screen of the phone as a beeb sound was heard at the pressing of a button. Yoshi made his choice in a couple more beeps of the small flimsy buttons.

'_Message deleted.' _His phone told him. Yoshi shut the phone and held it near to his heart. He held a sad smile as he put it away and continued walking.

_Maybe things will be better when I come back_ _again_… he thought to himself as he entered the house he was going to be living in from this day on.


	5. Chapter 5

Chap 5 fin- proofread.

_Sorry! I just started university like 3 days ago and I haven't had time to do this because I've been hanging out and going out so my laptop just sat gathering dust. So here it is!_

Tuesday morning rolled around and Shiki had left Neku alone for the whole of the weekend. Yoshiya had gone back to Paris for a few days so he could collect some things he needed from his parents' home before he moved into the apartment with his sister in Shibuya.

Neku was almost glad he was gone so he could get a break from acting happy.

Yoshiya would've gotten back last night, so Neku had turned his phone off so the boy couldn't call him. He was trying to block the whole world out of his business for a little while so his mind could adjust to the little things that had happened along with the larger things.

Well the first thing his mind was trying to deal with was the loss of his friend. Although they always used to fight and get on each other's nerves and Neku was sure that at some points in time Joshua was flirting with him just to get at him... What was the point again? Oh right, under all the annoyance and anger the two had a special bond more than just friend and friend. Although Neku didn't forgive Joshua for what he had done he would've still trusted him -he'd go as far as to say with his life but seeing how he had died quite a few times and was still alive he didn't think this saying would count.

Next he had to contend with the new edition to their friendship group. _Joshua mark II_ had been talking to Neku from dawn until dusk. It was annoying for Neku and made him feel boxed in and suffocated by the boy. He didn't like talking to this impostor in the first place but the fact that he wanted to talk to him so much just annoyed him.

Another thing was his parents' departure on their wedding anniversary. The two had decided to go off on a cruise without taking their seventeen year old son because he would 'be bored' and 'miss his school and friends'. Neku hadn't heard from them since then apart from a few photos they had taken in the past few days and sent to his mobile. His mother always sent apologies with the messages but he never heard anything from his father.

They had hired a babysitter for Neku, much to his distaste. The Sakurabas were very cautious when it came to their son so decided that the babysitter was the best way to make sure Neku was home each night. The girl would only come to the house to stay the night so that his parents knew he wasn't lying in a ditch somewhere. The thing that made this worse however, was that Neku's mom had unknowingly booked a reaper as Neku's babysitter.

Neku realised pondering his problems wasn't getting anything done and with a yawn, the orange haired boy stretched from his horizontal position before rolling onto his side to get up. He stopped when he heard a soft crinkling sound and felt the sharp edges of folded paper on his side. Curiously, Neku scooted back to retrieve the paper from underneath him. His eyebrows furrowed at the elegant cursive writing across the page which spelled out his name. Neku opened the note to find a short message inside.

_'Come to the park across from your apartment tonight. I'm sure you will be pleasantly surprised' _Neku was confused at first then got a little annoyed when he realised the note was signed _'Joshua'._ Now, the new Joshua- no, the boy who looked like Joshua- called himself 'Yoshi' for short. He told all of them that it was his real name and that it would help them to not get him confused with the former composer.

Neku had snorted at this. _'Fat chance I could forget who you were with those eyes_,' he had thought to himself as the words had been spoken. Neku stared at the note for a second longer before he threw the covers off himself so he could get up and get ready for the day.

When he was dressed, he stuffed the now-crumpled paper into his pocket to confront Yoshi about. The boy had enrolled in Neku's school a few days after he had turned up. Neku skipped breakfast after noting in disgust that the fridge was growing something green and that some kind of big rat had chewed up all the cereal. His stomach grumbled a little as the teen left the house with a silent promise to his stomach that he would pick up some ramen on his way home.

Walking to school was always a task and a half for Neku. He hated it because half the time now he could see the players in the game and even the noise. Sometimes he'd see someone he'd seen around the streets before and sometimes he'd see the familiar reapers from his time in the game. More recently the people he stared at would ask for his help and tell him messages they wanted to pass on to their children, parents or lovers.

Sometimes Neku ignored them so he didn't have to listen to the tear filled messages meant only for their recipients' ears.

He didn't see any players today, he saw a reaper wandering the streets but they interacted with the people around so Neku knew that the reaper was in the RG for once.

The orange haired boy's eyes met with those of the hooded wall reaper in more casual clothes than their usual hoodie and hat combo and the older male smirked back in a silent vow that nobody else will be that lucky.

When Neku made his way through the gates to the school, he was quick to notice Yoshi sitting reading a book under a tree. The way the silver haired teen sat made Neku want to roll his eyes. His posture was similar to a woman you would find in a dated era novel where everyone wore long dresses and cardboard as hats. His legs were folded under him and he held the book with both hands with a straight back, not even leaning on the tree at all. Neku imagined the boy under the tree looking up at him, the only difference was he was imagining those eyes to be purple...

Neku blinked himself back to reality after that thought. His eyes widened and he shook his head to try and clear it. '_Why am I longing for Joshua? Of all the people in the world, why him?_' Neku thought as he made his way over to the boy he had been looking at. A scowl formed on Neku's face as he started to think and eventually when he reached the other Yoshi looked up at Neku just like he had imagined...

With the green eyes that always made Neku disappointed.

A little part of Neku was saddened by the fact but the other was still angry about the note.

"Care to explain yourself?" Neku asked the silver haired boy. Yoshi put the book down as soon as he realised Neku was there. At first he smiled happily however his brain seemed to register that look on Neku's face and he seemed very puzzled by what the other meant.

"Excuse me?" The confused boy asked in return with a raised eyebrow. Neku didn't say a word, he only dropped the note into the others lap.

"Do you think this is funny?" Neku asked. His fists clenched in anger at the thought of the silver haired teen playing dumb.

"I don't know what this is," Yoshi said slowly. Neku's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he saw Yoshi seriously thinking about the letter that was now clasped between his fingers. "I only got home at around 6 AM because our flight was delayed which meant I just had to shower and came straight here," he explained to a now confused Neku. Yoshi stroked a hand over the note running his fingers along the lines of ink.

Almost as if it could feel the need for a break in an awkward silence, the warning bell for lessons rang causing both boys to jump. Neither acknowledged the other more than Neku snatching away the paper and leaving Yoshi's hand outstretched and empty. The confused green eyes followed Neku's back as he stomped his way into the school building. As soon as he left, Yoshi collected his things and followed silently.

Neku had gotten to class early and could only sit fuming as people pooled in around him. At first, students avoided him but soon the only seats left were the ones near Neku and two girls took them tentatively as if waiting for the boy to snap at them. Neku used his time in class as cool down time. He blocked out the teacher and the other students and just thought. It was also when he usually deciphered information and organised it in his head.

He realised now that the note had been strangely cold ever since he had picked it up, and the fact that it couldn't have been Yoshiya pointed to it being...

_'No._' Neku's mind told him forcefully. _'You'll get your hopes up and it won't do you any good!_' His thoughts told him. While he was listening to his mind, Neku had let his head run away and ignore everything he had been listening to. As a result of this he had no idea the teacher of the class has been looking at him. Neku had been scrunching up the paper then unfolding it in his hands while he thought and the loud noise had attracted attention.

"...raba? Mr Sakuraba? Neku! Wake up!" The teacher called angrily. When Neku came back into the world he was meant to be in, he flinched as a ruler hit his desk only centimetres from his face. The angry teacher in question was right in front of Neku now tapping her foot against the floor and drumming her manicured nails against the desk. The way Neku looked her told her he hadn't heard a word she had said and she raised an eyebrow daring him to tell her he knew what was going on.

"What?" He asked her causing snickers to float around the class. The teacher sighed in irritation before she spoke.

"Neku, why don't you answer the question on the board for us?" The teacher asked in exasperation. A hand had been bought to her face to massage her temples as if she was stressed.

Neku looked at the board and didn't even move. He just blanked out as he saw a long and difficult math problem on the board. He blinked for a second to make sure this wasn't one of those nightmares where he had forgotten his clothes (and then Joshua usually appeared) before he started looking around to see if the class had any handy hints.

All he got was a load of silent stares.

"Well Mr Sakuraba?" The teacher asked impatiently. More snickers made their way around the room as Neku hung his head and was just about ready to admit defeat with life, maths being a main part of that.

"Stupid radian," a voice scoffed from just behind the orange haired boy. The voice surprised Neku but made a smirk grow on his face as he realised the answer might slip from the mad reapers lips. From the corner of his eye, Neku saw no others paying attention to the new reaper so ignored him also.

"Anyone can tell that this teacher is zetta stupid, the problem is impossible and has no answer!" The math geek moaned. Neku was sure Pi-face eavesdropped on all his math lessons as joke material. Plus he liked seeing Neku -and the rest of the class for that matter- fail.

Neku scanned the board to realise the wailing mathematician was right. He smirked to the side of him where Pi-face had last been heard before speaking up the answer. The teacher was shocked. She checked over the problem four times before realising Neku was correct.

"Good guess," the blonde woman growled before going back to whatever theories she was explaining.

The rest of Neku's lessons went smoothly (meaning nobody talked to him. At all) and he eventually exited his history class into the busy lunch room where he needed to get his lunch.

Across the room, Neku saw Beat sitting with some other guys. He had been attending Neku's school since he was kicked out of his old one and had settled in well with the crowd of resident tough kids. Rhyme didn't go to their school and instead was at an academy for gifted young minds. She had decided to stay there at Beat's recommendation. He had told her she could get better qualifications at that school and not to follow him away.

Neku didn't bother going over to meet his friend today and instead grabbed the first food he could and made his way out to the courtyard where he sat on a table with his feet on its bench. He realised quickly he had grabbed only an apple and a sandwich however, with a shrug, he tore into the bread like a wild animal and chewed and swallowed his mouthful before repeating the ferocious bite of his sandwich.

As soon as he had finished the first half of his meal he felt a presence next to him; from the silent breaths and short airy sigh he could tell it was Yoshi.

"Go away," Neku grumbled through a mouth full of tuna. Yoshi was silent as he sat down. Neku turned to him and was surprised to see an expression of deep thought floating around in those deep green eyes.

"My handwriting is different," Yoshi said after a little while of silence.

"What?" Neku asked after he finished the second half of his sandwich.

"That note from this morning, I don't write like that and I wouldn't sign as anything other than Yoshi because I know it upsets you," the silver haired boy added. He didn't look at Neku, he only looked straight forward at some children on a playground across from their school. After a short deliberation Neku spoke.

"Prove it," he said childishly. I'm response Yoshi pulled out his notes for history class and held them up. Neku pulled out the note to compare the two.

"My writing doesn't slant the same way this writing does, mine is straight and a little messy because I'm used to writing in French," he said as he took the paper back when Neku let it drop into his hands.

"So it wasn't you…?"

"I dunno, maybe it was a ghost!" the silver haired boy giggled. At first Neku was sure he was joking but after a few awkward giggles Yoshi looked like he was upset at something. He looked nervous like he wasn't going to speak before he looked up at Neku without waiting for his reaction. He tried to giggle again but it wasn't normal his laughter was staggered and robotic and as unnatural as it could be. Yoshi was clutching at his silver necklace so hard that his knuckles had turned white.

"I was joking," he said quickly. It almost sounded like a reassurance but Neku couldn't tell who he was assuring. The ginger just looked down with furrowed eyebrows while he thought. Maybe it was a ghost of Joshua calling out to him or trying to contact him or something, stranger things had happened recently than someone dead coming back.

"You're right," Neku said ambiguously as he stood up. Yoshi looked confused as well as distressed when Neku stood up. He walked away without another word to the confused green eyed boy. Yoshi called after him but Neku didn't turn around to look at Yoshi as he walked back into the building to go into the class he would have next to chill his head and draw.


	6. Chapter 6

_Sorry it took forever but this chapter has a lemon so I hope that makes up for it. I had so much homework it was unreal and this is the only free time I had. Oh well…_

Chapter 6

The hours went quickly while Neku waited to go to the park. He didn't know what he was expecting as he checked his window. He knew he could see the park across from him and the fountain where he was meant to meet sometime soon. He was going to wait in his window to see if anything happened that might make him go over there.

It took a few hours for anything at the park to change. The lamps lit up as the sun went down and Neku was starting to think that nobody was coming and it was all a trick. He felt angry that he could fall for something like that so easily and threw the headphones he had been listening to not too long ago onto his bed in anger as he looked out the window again to see if there was any change. Despite his anger, he was hopeful and now that he looked he was sure the area seemed brighter.

Neku's eyes widened as he noticed a tall, graceful figure glide along the pavement towards the fountain. He sucked in a breath as he saw a glowing white figure move to wait next to the fountain and lean down so elegantly he was sitting on the very lip of the fountain wall looking up into the sky. His posture was regal, like a glowing king or prince and the thought made Neku wonder if this really was the boy he had been waiting for or if it was a trick from the Angels that Joshua often talked about.

Despite the idea that it might be a trick, Neku took this as his cue and dashed towards the stairs as fast as he could to make his way over to the park. He didn't hear anyone call from inside the house and he realised his babysitter probably didn't care at all if he ran out of the house. In his head he couldn't help hoping it was Joshua. He didn't give a thought to the warnings Joshua had told him last time they had met about deceiving angels and their tendencies to take strong souls who had done well in the composer's dangerous game.

"Neku!" A voice called from near the middle of the park. When Neku turned to look, he saw the same tall ghostly pale figure flickering in and out of existence next to the sparkling blue water of the white bricked fountain. His face didn't look like the once-composer so Neku couldn't help but frown a little.

The figure solidified as it flickered so it shrunk to a human height and a skinny build. His expressionless, blurred face morphed into the familiar features of the old ex-composer.

Purple eyes stared at Neku making the boy almost want to drop to his knees in happiness.

"Josh!" He called as he ran to the figure. As he got close, the figure grew taller again and started to omit a godly white glow again before flickering back to the image of the pale boy. Neku backed away as if he had been electrocuted. He was scared slightly by what was happening and didn't know how to react to the situation. The larger, older looking figure looked down at Neku with an unreadable expression.

"Sorry Neku, I'm fluctuating at the moment, my spirit isn't used to his body... Give me a second..." The glowing silvery boy said as he closed his eyes and stuck out his arms as he seemed to think. His voice sounded different like it had its own echo and breathy undertone.

Almost as if he was tuning a radio or a TV, Joshua grew fuzzy like a static image before becoming more refined and solid he shrunk back down to his original boy size and blinked as he regained his distinguishing facial features from the light that had enveloped his taller form. Eventually he lowered his arms to his sides with a sigh and looked at Neku for judgement. The orange haired boy just gaped with his mouth open and his eyebrows furrowed. He was frozen into a complete statue.

"Ok, now I'm going to hug you," Joshua decided before closing the distance and encircling his arms around the surprised boy in front of him. Neku didn't pull away. But he didn't wind his arms around Joshua either; he had been caught off guard. Joshua eventually pulled away with a giggle and a smile as he looked at Neku. The ginger's eye was twitching slightly and Joshua thought he looked a little like a ticking time bomb. Internally, he was counting down from ten.

_Three _

_Two _

_One…_

"You bastard!" The orange haired boy shouted on cue as he suddenly found his voice. The air of predictability in the whole situation made Joshua grin madly. "You died without even telling me! Mr H told me you knew you were going to die and didn't do anything about it," he growled as he started punching Joshua in the chest. The punches didn't hurt the flickering figure so he let Neku pour all his anger out into the punches so that he could calm down. He had told Sanae about his death, and of course the angel would tell the blue eyed proxy exactly what he wanted to know. Joshua waited out the punches as he tried to imagine the conversation in his head. Meanwhile, the strength to Neku's punches decreased as his breathing increased.

When Neku stopped, he was breathing heavily.

"Better?"

"You're an asshole," Neku spat in reply. "I can't believe you put me through this!" To say Neku was really angry was an understatement, but he couldn't help himself from clinging to his sleeve like a toddler to their mother.

"Aw isn't it nice to see you do care," Joshua giggled stroking at Neku's hair in jest.

"You... You asshole! Cocky... Stupid fucking...-"

"Asshole. Yes I get the point Neku you didn't like the whole dead thing. No need to throw a tantrum dear," Joshua fobbed Neku's worries off as if they were nothing with a wave of his hand.

Neku scowled at the ex-composer who just smirked in reply.

"Did you miss me Neku?" He asked with another giggle as he looked slyly at the other. Neku didn't say anything, only tried to keep the scowl from slipping off his face in favour of confusion and happiness.

"I know I missed you. I missed what we used to do... How close we were... Heehee it _pained_ me to see you hate the body I'm in," Joshua folded his hands behind his back and smirked at Neku. The other boy was looking at the ex-composer with a look of slight annoyance now.

"Bullshit," he growled folding his arms and looking away.

"Oh? Why don't you find out yourself if you're so sure," Joshua giggled as he stepped forward.

_Find out...?_ Neku thought to himself in confusion.

The annoyed ginger didn't understand at all and by the look on the ex-composers face it didn't look like he was getting an explanation.

"Are you going to tell me why you're here?" Neku asked. His guard was up but all his body really wanted to do was get close to the boy who he had missed for so long. Joshua looked like he was thinking about it but in the end his casual smirk just pasted itself across his lips as he giggled. Neku received no answer to his question.

"Neku, do you miss the things we used to do? I'm sure you would never look to this body for relief but I'm not the spineless boy this body belongs to,"

"Don't talk bad about people you don't know," Neku muttered through gritted teeth.

"Trust me Neku, I know green eyes quite well," Joshua said with a roll of his eyes. Neku couldn't work out what he meant but didn't let it bother him too much. He noticed Joshua his out the nickname he had for Yoshi, like he hated the other boy with a passion.

"You aren't going to tell me anything, are you? You're just going to waltz into my life and leave scars again," Neku accused in anger. The older of the two didn't seem too phased by the accusation. If anything he just ignored it. He smirked and shrugged as he walked closer to stand right in front of Neku.

"Still, Neku... 'Enjoy the moment'," the ex-composer smirked wider at the wide eyed deer-caught-in-headlights look Neku give him for a second. /Oh I'll show you enjoy the moment alright/ the living boy thought in annoyance. Joshua realised Neku probably didn't have it in him to jump anyone let alone Joshua. He was about to say something about answering the others questions when Neku surprised them both. He dived at his friend and kissed him with all the force he could muster.

The silver haired boy was surprised at Neku's sudden movement. Not that he would ever admit that. Nobody would ever know his eyes widened at the forceful move of his proxy. Not that he minded the interaction, after what had happened between them it was a welcome reminder of the past. The two broke away and for a second, Neku looked like he was going to say something but Joshua swooped down to take a kiss from the boys lips in return.

Neku broke away from Joshua's kiss as quickly as it started to look over to his house. He could pick out the apartment he shared with his parents instantly from the lack of window boxes, unlike all the other apartments around them who had at least one thing hanging from them. From where he stood, Neku could see the light from the guest room and the flickering of the TV in that room. He knew his so called 'baby sitter' would wonder where he was if he left but he wanted to spend more time like this with Josh. He wanted to hug and kiss the flickering boy like he hadn't been able to since he died. Joshua decided that he didn't like the lack of attention he got when Neku was thinking and started to kiss Neku's neck to try and get the teens attention back on him. Neku sighed and turned to the other to push his face away a little.

"Josh..." Neku said as he shuffled closer. Joshua, who had started messing with Neku's hair in boredom, hummed in acknowledgement before leaning his head down on the top of Neku's and wrapping his arms around the other boy's waist. Neku couldn't remember when Joshua was ever taller than him, but he figured it might have something to do with how he was flickering. The ginger haired boy felt like the ex-composer was purring from contentment.

"Are you going to disappear? I wanted to spend more time talking to you..."

"Then let's go to my house, but I can't guarantee you'll get your 'talking'," Joshua said as he kissed Neku's cheek with a sly smirk.

Neku looked up to Joshua with a raised eyebrow but nodded at the suggestion anyway. Joshua kissed Neku's forehead and flickered for a second before he untangled his limbs from the younger boy to take his hand and lead the way. Neku noticed how warm Joshua's hand was and how it kept flickering from pale white to an even paler grey colour, he was flickering rapidly again and Neku noticed a worried yet slightly surprised look cross over the silver haired boy's face. He was sure his face must be holding a similar expression.

"You aren't gonna flicker out of existence, are you?" Neku asked, half out of worry and half to tease the other.

"Sorry, I'm still not 100% stable in this body. He's not really that compatible with me... Maybe if I get more tries at this I can get better," the older boy answered cheekily with a smirk and a giggle. Neku frowned but he couldn't deny the butterflies in his stomach at the thought of the 'tries' Joshua was mentioning.

They walked hand in hand for about ten minutes before Joshua stopped in front of a town house. The small home was painted a pale yellow colour with hanging baskets and flowers in window boxes.

"Aya will be out tonight with a friend she made," Joshua said as he pulled some keys out of a little bag he had with him. Neku looked up at the house for a moment before nodding to the ex-composer and walking towards it soundlessly. The keys jingled as he moved towards the door to slot them into the lock. As the door opened, Joshua wasted no time pushing Neku in and against a wall. The door shut with a shudder at the wave of the silver haired boy's hand while he focused on putting all his effort into kissing the ginger in front of him. Neku allowed their lips to connect immediately and gave a noise of contentment as he felt Joshua's hand move up to grab roughly at his hair. Neku pushed himself up into Joshua a little causing the other to break away for breath.

"Mm Neku," Joshua murmured. He watched as Neku tried to catch his breath too, the boy's chest moved in and out rhythmically which spurred Joshua on in diving in and licking across Neku's lips to ask permission for a deeper, more sensual kiss. Neku's lips opened almost immediately and he met the second, pink tongue with expert skill. The silver haired male wondered for a second where the boy could've learned such a way of kissing.

The two didn't break away but Joshua felt it as one of Neku's hands slid down his shoulders and onto his chest. Joshua broke the kiss and couldn't help it as his breath sped up as his heartbeat quickened at the sight of Neku. He looked the other boy over while the younger tried to assert some kind of dominance by kissing at Joshua's pale neck. His cheeks were slightly pink and his hair was scruffier than usual, Joshua noted happily that the look in Neku's eyes was different from usual as well; he looked at Joshua with hunger hidden in the depths of the sparkling blue pools. The image of Neku like this branded itself into Joshua's memory so he couldn't forget -and neither could the other boy in his body- how he was the only one able to make Neku feel this way. Joshua gasped as Neku brought him out of his thoughts by biting on his neck. Neku followed up on the bite by sucking at a spot on Joshua's neck hoping to create a mark on his skin between his neck and shoulder. When he finished, Neku's hands moved back up again to the collar of Joshua's shirt to unbutton the familiar purple fabric one button at a time to allow himself more skin to nip and suck at. To Joshua, the process of his shirt leaving his body was painfully slow and he almost made a noise to tell Neku to just take it off already.

The shirt fell off Joshua's shoulders and pooled around their feet on the carpeted stairs.

The orange haired boy quickly moved back up to face Joshua. He licked his lips before diving in for another heated open mouthed kiss. The silver haired boy grabbed at Neku's hair with one hand while the other cradled his hip. Neku's hands were firmly wrapped around Joshua's neck with one playing with the shorter curls in the back of Joshua's hair. Without giving much thought to the act, Joshua's hands made their way from where they were to the hem of Neku's shirt. He wasn't wearing his usual outfit but instead a somewhat normal plain green t-shirt that he must've just thrown on in a rush. Neku parted from Joshua just long enough for the shirt to be pulled over his head then leaned back into the passionate kiss. The orange haired boy's hands slowly slid up Joshua's chest and over his shoulders. His touch was so soft it only skimmed the surface of the other boy's skin. The soft touch tickled Joshua and made a shiver run up his spine as Goosebumps formed under the path Neku's trailing fingers took. Joshua felt like Neku was trying to pull him closer even though they were pressed together like two pieces of a jigsaw.

"Neku…" Joshua breathed as he pulled away from the panting boy. Neku stared into Joshua's eyes for a few seconds as they both stood motionless. There seemed to be a special kind of connection between the two of them at that time and neither really wanted to let it go. Still breathing a little quickly, Joshua took Neku's hand and led him up the stairs silently. At first, Neku didn't know if he should say anything but the small smirk on the other boy's lips assured him that no words were needed.

In the calm of the moment Neku realised how well Joshua's hand fit into his and how nice the slight energy and heat radiating from his palm felt. The colour of the two boy's skins complemented each other even if Neku's slightly darker skin tone made Joshua look like he was glowing white. For all Neku knew, he could've been. The orange haired boy let out a sigh as Joshua led him into what he assumed was Yoshi's room.

For a second, both boys looked around in wonder taking in how the boy had decorated his room. Neku took a step forward with his hand still clasped in Joshua's as he took a better look at the room for himself.

The walls were painted a sky blue and over one side of the room someone had started drawing on the walls with black paint to create swirls and plant-like line drawings. Books were stacked up in almost all parts of the room, some in French and some in Japanese and even one or two in English. Neku noticed a closed silver laptop on a desk with a few memory sticks next to it. One Neku could identify as the one Yoshi used for school work. The curtains in the room were floor length like the window next to the desk and a soft looking white material that shone like silk. The bed was double and had blue sheets with a pink pillow. Both sheets and pillow had white swirls on one corner similar to what Yoshi had been drawing on the walls. To Neku, the room looked too clean and the lack of pictures or anything to remind Yoshi of his friends or family made him think that the boy he had been pushing away must be lonely to be here. Paper was accumulated next to a small bin by the desk. The bin was full of scrunched up paper just like was visible around it. Neku was tempted to go and unfold some of the paper to see its contents.

Before he could, a pair of warm arms wrapped themselves around Neku's waist from behind. The orange haired boy knew it had to be Joshua as soon as hands moved across the flat expanse of his stomach, feeling the skin there and drawing patterns with one finger. The feeling relaxed Neku and he let out a noise of contentment which made the other boy hum in amusement. Neku turned in the arms that were holding him to attempt to see the familiar purple eyes that gave him comfort however as soon as he turned, he received a kiss from the boy standing there. A pair of hands moved up to tangle in silver hair while another slid across the exposed upper half of the ginger haired boy's chest.

Joshua started shuffling forwards which caused Neku to move with him. The younger one's legs hit the edge of Yoshi's bed and made Neku lose his balance and topple over. It didn't take Joshua long to be right on top of the other working a path down his chest towards his pants. Neku could feel his cheeks heat up as Joshua sent him a smirk as his hands ran up the insides of Neku's legs both with a similar goal in mind.

The boy couldn't help but let out a noise half between a purr and a moan as hands brushed up along his crotch on their way to undo the button on his crumpled blue three quarter length shorts. It felt like it had been hours by the time Joshua had pulled Neku's pants and underwear down and thrown them away into an unknown corner of the room. The air hit Neku as he was fully exposed to the other boy and he wiggled around a little because of the eyes scoping every inch of him. Joshua sat back on his heels and watched Neku's face for a second before his eyes ran across the expanse of Neku's body again. He noted all the minor scrapes and scars and how the blush on his face complimented the colour of his hair.

"Why Neku, you look simply beautiful, good enough to eat..." Joshua giggled as he leaned back down in between Neku's legs and placed kisses on his thighs. One hand made its way up Neku's inner thigh to run its fingers up the boy's erection and back down again. The touch was light like feathers and it made the ginger shudder. Neku made a noise that sounded more like a groan this time and with little effort he pulled Joshua up to his level by his arms before he had chance to even look at the goal he had in sight for his affections.

"Don't do that," Neku growled. Joshua looked in Neku's eyes with a smirk then crashed their lips together violently. Teeth and tongue clashed in a careless battle for dominance. In the meantime Neku had Joshua flipped over so he was underneath the once blushing ginger.

Neku sat up on his legs and observed Joshua. The boy's glowing silver hair was messy. Messier than usual and even messier than what Neku expected the boy to look like in the morning. The way he was looking up at Neku was intense and it caused the ginger to pull off those signature jeans in even less time than it took to get Neku's shorts off. His underwear came off just as quickly while Neku's lips had already made their way down onto Joshua's.

"Someone's eager..." Joshua giggled to himself against Neku's lips

"Shut it," the ginger replied as he leaned his face up and his whole body down to grind up against Joshua. Never in his life did Neku imagine he could have the 'all powerful composer' under him and groaning like this and it was an amazing feeling to know he was making the other male feel like that and not someone else.

"I think he has some stuff you can use in the top drawer," Joshua said as he motioned to the bedside table Yoshi had. Neku spent a little time rummaging around and picking up nothing before he sighed and put his fingers next to Joshua's face. Joshua understood and took the fingers in front of him into his mouth. He hummed around the digits as he swirled his tongue around them, a sight that Neku couldn't take his eyes away from.

Joshua's giggle broke Neku out of his trance as he pulled his fingers away and trailed one down the pale stomach to Joshua's entrance. He pushed the one finger in while watching the reaction he was given. He followed the first finger with another as soon as he knew the squirming boy beneath him was ready. He used the two fingers to try and stretch out the ex-composer even more. There were a few muffled groans as he added another after a while and kept moving his fingers in and out until Joshua was moaning and trying to push himself further onto the fingers.

"Can you just shove it in already," Joshua said in a whine as his hands reached up to tug on the orange strands of Neku's hair. He sounded annoyed and inpatient but he couldn't deny that the fingers inside him felt good. Neku pulled his fingers out and watched Joshua's face for a second. His eyes showed his impatience and his wish that something else was inside him and the way he squirmed around made Neku think the feeling of nothing after so long but feel weirder than having something inside him.

Slowly, Neku made his way into a better position. Joshua looked up at him with Yoshi's large eyes but they held the purple hue of Neku's old friend. As he pushed himself in, he saw the expression on the other's face change. His eyes fluttered shut and his head fell backwards. A low groan escaped his lips but it sounded as if there was pain mixed into it instead of the pleasure Neku was feeling.

When he was fully inside, Neku stopped to gauge how Joshua felt. He could still see him breathing fast and his head was still tilted back so Neku waited for a sight the other was ok before continuing.

"Mm, Neku" Joshua hummed as he reached up to pull on the orange locks of his hair. He pulled Neku's face down into a kiss which he dominated while Neku decided it was time for him to move.

The noises coming from Joshua were intoxicating. While Neku tried not to make a sound, it seemed Joshua was trying to be as vocal as possible in his moans just like he would before. At one point his eyes opened as he stared up breathlessly. Neku tried to hit that point inside the silver haired boy as often as possible but his body seemed to do that for him, he remembered exactly how he had to move for both of them to get the most pleasure out of this, his body moved to an old forgotten melody from the time they spent together in the past... And Neku wasn't sure if he wanted the song to ever end.

It was just like before Joshua had died. They slipped into the same pattern. Neku would suck and bite on Josh's neck to leave marks while small manicured nails scratched their way down his back. Neku always kept his eyes open to gauge the others reaction and to just watch the changes in the other. The fluffy silver hair had puffed up more than usual due to sweat but Neku was sure the way he tossed his head around at times couldn't help the tangles his hair gained. The way his eyes fluttered open and closed as Neku hit that certain spot within him made Neku want to scream out. But half the time he just bit down hard into his bottom lip so he didn't make a sound.

The former proxy was the one that came first. There was no warning to the boy beneath him but that was half payback for Joshua always doing the same thing before. He let out a loud groan as his arms gave out and fell down on top of the other. He circled his arms around Joshua as his heavy panting breaths started to even out. Joshua wasn't finished, so, with a raised eyebrow, he moved out of Neku's reach allowing the other to lie back on the bed as he shuffled into the ginger's line of sight to 'give him a show' as he finished himself off.

They were both still panting as the giggling demon made his way back over to Neku's side with the bedcovers in his hands. He brushed the boy's fringe away as he leaned down to kiss the forehead of his once only friend. Neku's eyes fluttered closed as a soft smile started to lift the corner of his lips.

"I'll be gone in the morning," Joshua murmured into Neku's ear. The half-asleep boy murmured something incoherent and swatted at the source of the warm air on his sensitive flesh while pulling at the covers to hug them. Joshua giggled and lay down behind Neku so his whole body fit along the curve of his spine. Neku turned around when Joshua put a hand on his side and instead of the sheets; he cuddled closer to the warm body behind him and Joshua giggled again. Neku really could be cute in his sleep.

The silver haired male's smile faded when he felt something struggling in the back of his head. Like an itch, Joshua could feel Yoshiya as he cried out in his head. An evil smirk made its way onto the boy's face in replacement as he looked ahead at nothing.

"I hope you saw all that..." Joshua murmured with a smile on his face. It wasn't obvious who he was talking to, but he had the expression of someone who wanted to teach someone a lesson or get back at them.

"I'm looking forward to next month," he murmured with a smile as he shuffled around in the embrace of his proxy until he lay with his hands holding the arms that encircled him and his body following the same pattern as the one behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chap 7

_Jeez this took too long to finish. I really have no excuse it has been sitting open on my computer finished for the last 2 weeks! Sorry… _

The door slammed behind Neku as he walked back into his cold, dark apartment. He threw his jacket down in anger and kicked off his shoes walking along on sock-covered feet towards the kitchen.

"And where exactly have you been?" A sarcastic voice asked from the living room as Neku passed it.

"You're still here?" Neku replied as he walked into the kitchen. He hadn't even glanced into the living room as he had passed causing the girl to huff and stand up. The pink haired reaper followed Neku into the kitchen with a displeased scowl plastered on her face. Neku ignored her as he opened the fridge to look for something to eat to calm his grumbling stomach.

"No shit, you little turd. Your mother calls me once a night and won't let me leave the house unless you're in it," the woman said as she leaned against the frame in the middle of the doorway. Neku sighed but ignored the girl apart from that. When she started huffing and walked towards him Neku turned quickly ready to talk.

"Yes I know that, however I'm home now and you're still here," the boy told her in a sarcastic voice filled with an acid. "Don't you have something better to do, pinky? Like murder some players, or fail to do so as is usually correct in your case" He was smirking smugly to himself at the insults he had thrown at her. The annoyed reaper didn't growl as much as she would usually. She smirked and crossed her arms as she began to walk forward towards Neku. The boy moved back as the reaper got closer. Her heels clicked with each step until Neku was pressed against the cold fridge and the reaper was no more than a meter away from him. For a second Uzuki dropped her current expression and looked annoyed at him, then she looked down at her reaper pin which glowed and let out a dull heat. She concentrated on it squeezing her eyes shut to try and tune out Neku. When her eyes opened again a smile was plastered on her giggling lips. Neku looked down at the pin and screwed up his face and cursed himself in his mind. His player pin was in his room and Pinky could pick at his brain with her own pin.

"Well, well, well. It seems little orangey locks went out to have sex last night," the woman teased. Neku ignored her, cursing his luck as he attempted to either push past or push her away. The reaper backed up a bit and just giggled at Neku's face while the other turned red with both anger and embarrassment.

Neku didn't realise it, but reaper pins couldn't read your mind, the reaper was just teasing him with something she believed he would deny straight away. She hid her surprise well, not even sure if the by was embarrassed by the concept of the fact he had been caught. She hoped for the latter. It was the more… entertaining option.

Neku was deathly silent as he opened the fridge up again to search around inside even though he had just been in there five minutes ago. He was using the fridge as a distraction from the 'girl' standing not too far away from him Neku was sure he heard her snicker again as he picked up a packet of mini chocolates but kept looking in the fridge. He didn't find much more of interest but he was sure could hear Uzuki cracking because his silence only proved her point.

He slammed the fridge in anger, food in hand and glared at the forever teenager is his kitchen.

"How did you even get this job? You're like two years younger than me in looks," he growled as he moved from the fridge. His arms were outstretched to the sides as if a challenge and to see if she would test him in his current mood. Uzuki just gigged at the angry ginger before her. She shielded her mouth with a hand and winked at Neku causing the boy to seethe in annoyance.

"Obviously 5 years older than you in maturity seeing as your parents thought I was 22," her smirk grew wider as she folded her arms looking proud of herself.

_'Well they are quite gullible...'_ Neku thought to himself as his face turned to one of annoyance. With a huff, Neku started his retreat to his room. The boy shoved his shoulder roughly into the kitchens other inhabitant on his way out. He heard her '_ohh_' like she was trying to egg him on and when he ignored her, he heard Pinky tell him she wasn't leaving yet with her signature giggle at her victory. Her voice sounded triumphant and Neku hated it.

His heavy footsteps could be heard by the next floor down and his door opened swiftly as he yanked just a little too hard on the handle before entering. He was sure if he had a proper babysitter or his parents were home then someone would have something to say about his anger.

After slamming his bedroom door Neku sat down on his bed. The note from the day before still lay crumpled up on the unused blankets from where he had looked at in wonder in the hours leading up to the meeting with the eerie ghost boy he had encountered. He stroked at the paper again but his thoughts were interrupted by the noise from the living room. The teenager could hear the pink haired reaper cackling from the living room still and hoped she'd get up and leave soon.

At first, Neku picked up a manga book from his bedside table to distract himself from the thought of the reaper in his house but soon realised that he was being distracted from his distraction by his wondering mind. Images from that morning flooded Neku's brain. He remembered Yoshi's face, and the tears that had rolled from his eyes as he had spoken to Neku.

_No, no, no! How could he? How could you? _Yoshiya had been tearing at his hair with clenched fists. Neku couldn't tell if he did it in anger or self-hatred, but the message got through to Neku as soon as Yoshiya looked up at him with those large green doe eyes which were now ringed with red as his tears fell silently. His hands fell in front of him and lay empty, palms facing upwards as he stared down at them and felt his tears drip down onto the skin there.

…_Please... Leave me alone for now, _He had bought his knees up and turned to look in any direction but where Neku was standing as his arms wound around his covered legs. He had winced in pain as he realised the activities of the night before had had an impact on his body. Neku tried to reach a hand up in comfort but stopped when he saw the boy on the bed wince and shy away. Neku drew back and watched as a hand rose up to Yoshi's mouth. Shaky fingers pressed onto his open lips as tears squeezed between half open eyelids. Neku could hear the other boys breath coming out in soft gasps around his fingers.

The orange haired boy felt terrible for not leaving before Yoshi woke up, but he didn't really want to feel like the events were only a one night stand to him.

Yoshi's face flashed through Neku's mind, his wide eyes looked ready to cry and his lips were parted in shock one second then his teeth were chewing his bottom lip for another. He pulled at his hair and balled his hands into fists while his face screwed up tight as he muttered 'no' and 'please' over and over again.

Neku couldn't have gotten out of the house quicker. After he located and gathered his scattered clothes and put them back on, the orange haired boy uttered his last apology before leaving as quickly as possible. Neku bumped into Yoshi's sister on the way out and could only mutter a sorry to her before he left completely.

Neku put his head in his hands for a second. It was his fault Yoshi was feeling like this. It was all because he couldn't say no to the damn composer. Those shining purple eyes had captured him like a net and he hadn't been able to escape their depths.

Joshua's smirk and the wink he gave to Neku before his being disappeared back into Yoshi almost made Neku believe that Joshua was just messing around with Neku and the boy who's body he had inhabited.

The sound of the slamming front door broke Neku out of his thoughts. The reaper had left. Neku felt a little safer in his own home now. The red headed male looked at the clock, it was only two in the afternoon, but he felt like he could sleep for years. The weight of Neku's feelings and thoughts bore down heavily on his shoulders and caused the boy to reach for his phone.

Neku's fingers were quick as they danced across the keyboard of his outdated old flip phone. He placed the phone to his ear and waited for the sound of a voice on the other side.

"...Neku? I didn't expect you to ring me on a weekend," there was a pause as the person on the other line looked at the clock. "...Or this early, usually you're drawing or reading or spacing out," the voice said from the other side of the phone.

"I need someone to talk to," was all Neku told the girl on the other line. He heard her hum in agreement before he muttered a time and place: 'ten minutes, Ramen Don'

-time-

When Neku entered the fast food restaurant he realised he was around five minutes late. The girl who was meeting him was sitting down picking at a bowl of her favourite brand of ramen.

She smiled over at the man who was on the counter. It was a kind smile of thanks and when the other male caught it he sent a kind smile back.

"Rhyme..." Neku breathed as his pace increased to move him into the booth seat faster.

"Heya Neku!" The girl said with a giggle. Rhyme had changed since the end of the game. She had stopped wearing her orange and white attire and started wearing other clothes -mostly from Wild Boar, the same place her brother shops. Her hair was longer now, it reached down below her shoulders where it lightly curled at the ends. She didn't wear her hat anymore either, instead opting to wear her skull pin on her small black over the shoulder bag which she carried everywhere with her. Neku knew it held some of her brother's pins out of caution but he was sure she thought nothing of it by now.

When Neku was silent to her greeting, Rhyme stopped smiling and looked Neku's face over seriously.

"What's wrong?" She asked kindly. A hand was outstretched to meet one of Neku's which sat folded in front of him on the table.

"I did something bad Rhyme. I really hurt someone's feelings," Neku didn't look up as he talked to the girl. Rhyme looked confused but still reached out to pat the orange haired boy's hand.

"Is it something you would be ok talking about here? Or...?"

Neku looked around at the question and really deliberated before answering

"Can we go somewhere else?" Neku asked as he saw Aya, Yoshiya's sister, enter the ramen shop. Neku could tell from the way she was pointing she was ordering two portions of food. But the frown on her face made Neku wonder how much she knew about what happened between them. Rhyme saw Neku's pained, calculative gaze and simply nodded in understanding.

"Let's go to the park," Rhyme said. Neku nodded blankly and stood up. Rhyme too one last bite of her ramen dish before she followed Neku.

The park they went to was old. Nobody went there and the gates were covered in rising plants and grass. Neku hopped over the fence while Rhyme lifted herself over it gracefully with the strength of a gymnast. The walked under the cover of the trees for a while before they found the stump of an old tree that had been cut high enough that children couldn't climb onto it, but just the right height for teenagers to jump up onto and it had enough room for two people to sit and stretch out comfortably.

When the two jumped up onto the tree, they immediately stretched out. Neku lay on his back with his arms under his head while Rhyme leant all her weight on her one arm with her legs folded underneath her.

"So... What's the problem?" The girl asked. Her voice held only sympathy for Neku; he knew he had chosen the right person to talk to. She didn't pity him and she wasn't looking for a piece of gossip like most girls around Shibuya either.

"Honestly?" he asked. Rhyme could detect the breathy unamused chuckle in Neku's voice as he ran his fingers across his hair to look for some kind of a distraction. He sighed again but Rhyme is patient and waits for him to be ready to talk.

"It's Yoshiya," he tells her. Rhyme looks at him with a blank but encouraging expression to egg him on to tell her more. "He… Well I... We... We..." Neku was searching for words that didn't sound dirty as what had happened. He knew Rhyme wasn't a baby but he knew Beat would kill him if he was talking to Rhyme about sex.

"It's ok. I guessed from your reaction to him after your friend died that he wasn't just you friend," Rhyme explained calmly. "I'm also going to guess that you guys had sex and you feel guilty," she said. Neku didn't know if he was more surprised about Rhyme guessing his problem or how ok she was with it. She seemed indifferent as if it was nobody she knew and smiled politely at Neku so he didn't feel awkward. At his point, Neku realised Rhyme had never formally met Joshua because Beat didn't allow her to be anywhere near him. It was one of his little protection things for his sister.

Neku told Rhyme everything. He started from the beginning about what he remembered about his old friend who died and about Joshua and when they were together as well as Yoshi and what had happened. Rhyme sounded shocked as she listened about Neku and what happened with Yoshi. Her expression and her small gasps and exclamations made sure Neku knew what he meant while they were meant to be comforting at the same time.

"It wasn't your fault," the girl concluded after Neku finished talking. The reaction startled the ginger who was expecting a verbal beating about his mistake.

"He's dead and you..." Rhyme paused and caused Neku to look up at her. "You loved him," she told him truthfully. Neku's eyes widened and he looked down quickly as his cheeks heated up.

"I... I didn't..." Neku replied meekly but it was no use. He knew he had had feelings for the composer and last night, he felt he had no choice but to do what the composer wanted; like a spell.

"You feel guilty because you didn't stop. You want to make it up to Yoshi because you feel some attachment to him too. I think maybe it's mostly because of his face but you care about his feelings enough to really want to make it up to him after what you did,"

"How do I do that exactly?" Neku murmured as he picked at the threading on his shirt. Rhyme stared at him for a minute trying to think of an answer to solve his problem. The glance although not meant with any malice, burned into Neku and made him feel small and like he'd done everything he had set out not to.

"Maybe ask him to meet up, go on a date maybe? It depends what you want to convey to him," the wise young girl looked up with crystal clear blue eyes as she spoke. Neku nodded in agreement to her statement before looking up at her.

"I'll call him as soon as I get home," Neku told her causing Rhyme to look a little uneasy.

"Leave it a few days, give him time to think. I think what had happened between you two in the last two days will be hard for him to digest at first, so just give him a little while first," Neku couldn't help looking at Rhyme with surprise on his face.

"Why is it you who always gives the best advice?" He murmured before scooting to the edge of the tree stump ready to jump off. Rhyme realised his question was rhetorical and just smiled at him in thanks for the comment.

"Take him to the park, or a cafe. I'm sure he'll come around eventually," Rhyme told her friend. Neku nodded as he jumped off the stump waiting for Rhyme to move so he could help her jump down. He got a smile in thanks before the two began their walk back towards the heart of Shibuya.

-time—

Neku was nervous as he held the phone to his ear and sat down on his bed. His legs crossed and uncrossed before he just allowed them to fold beneath his body out of the way. Neku was so sure Yoshi would hang up as soon as he had heard his voice. Although three more days had passed, Yoshi hadn't been to school since it happened. Neku was starting to worry about the other boy, how long could you hide away from your fears?

Neku heard a noise as the phone was picked up and held to the other person's cheek. He could hear quiet breathing on the other line for a moment before the person on the other line cleared their throat to speak.

"Neku, I don't really want to talk to you…" the voice on the other line croaked out. His voice was quiet making him sound tired and as if he hadn't spoken for a few days. Neku remained silent for a few second trying to work out if the silver haired boy on the other side of the line had anything else to say about the matter.

"I've been trying to keep my distance, I'm not sure what I should be doing with myself anymore," the timid boy added with a breathless giggle. There was no humour to it; it was just a release of some unknown emotion. He spoke slowly, unsure if he was telling Neku because he wanted to or to make the other feel bad about what he had done to his once-friend.

"I… don't want to be a substitute for anyone,"

"Yoshi… I wanted to ask if you would go out with me in a couple days," Neku said. He wanted to keep his voice as neutral as possible he didn't want the other to feel threatened if his voice suddenly turned angry at the accusation. Yoshi was jumping to the same conclusion everyone else did. He believed he was worth nothing as a person of his own.

"Go out?" a surprised voice echoed. Yoshi sounded nervous as well. Like a watchful deer ready to bolt at any given moment. Neku decided he didn't want to sit anymore and stood up. He walked over to his mirror first to look at himself before pacing back and forth across the floor aimlessly.

"Yeah, like grab a bite or just hang out at the park or… something," Neku clarified. He stopped and stood stiffly next to his chest of drawers in his room trying to avoid the inevitable action of picking something up.

"I-I don't know. I don't really want to be-"

"I _know_ Yoshi, but I want to apologise for what I did," Neku rolled his eyes at the repetitive statement and his cliché of an answer as he picked up a glass paperweight he kept on top of the wooden surface of his chest of draws. It had waves of blue, pink and green swirling in the glass with air bubbles that were frozen in time on their way up.

"...Okay," a small breathy reply spoke. At first Neku didn't think he heard anything at all. He hummed into the phone in question as to what was said while his gaze stayed on the glittering ball

"Okay, I'll meet you for lunch, Saturday," Yoshi sounded defeated and distressed. The tone didn't really match up to what he was saying but Neku smiled slightly at his words. He was happy Yoshi was giving him the chance. He just hoped he didn't mess this up.

"Okay," Neku confirmed as the smirk grew on his face.

"See you then," Yoshi sighed before the click of the phone could be heard as the boy pressed the end button. Neku took the Phone away from his ear to send a text to Rhyme to thank her for the advice –which seemed to have worked.

Neku threw the glass paperweight onto his bed so he could type on his phone faster. The blankets dipped a bit under the heavier weight of the glass. Neku typed out his message hastily before his phone followed the stone onto the bed making a clacking noise as it hit the exact same spot of the rock.

The slight smile fell off Neku's face as he thought about the possible outcome of his actions. It was good but there was the possibility that Yoshi would want nothing to do with him and instead just turn up to tell him to back off. Neku still stood in the middle of his room with a slight headache building. He hoped the meeting wouldn't end in tears this time.


End file.
